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THE SINGLE GUY

Speed dating is casual and offer low expectations
by Eric Edwards


There are some dates that you wish would last all night. Then there are dates that you wish were over three minutes after you start them.

Most people can tell in a short time whether their date is going to make it to round two or end up in the ever-growing pile of don't- call-me-I'll-call-you. With that in mind, it seems silly to devote an entire evening to one person when you could just as easily date 10 people in the same amount of time.

Of course, if you actually dated 10 people in one evening you might pass out from exhaustion and would certainly wind up with an unflattering nickname if your scheme were ever discovered. Which it would be.

The fact is you want to date as many people as possible hoping against hope that one of them will be a suitable match, but you don't want the stigma your loose dating practices are likely to earn you.

Enter speed dating, not to be confused in any way with speed skating, which is a winter Olympics sport that requires years of training.

Speed dating requires almost no training at all except for the ability to stand up, sit down and move a seat to your right every time you hear a bell.

The premise of speed dating is to bring together a group of men and women who will each spend three minutes together to see whether they hit it off. Each person involved carries something resembling a scorecard, which at some point during the "date" they mark to indicate whether they would like to see the person again or not. Of course, this is done discreetly so no one's feelings are hurt.

The whole process is very democratic. Each man must talk to each woman regardless of how appalling he finds her perfume, and likewise each woman must spend the full three minutes with each fellow even if he prattles on endlessly about his comic-book collection.

When the "dating" is done, the organizer of the event tallies the data and reports to each attendee which participants showed any interest in them.

Michelle Valentine, who has organized speed-dating events locally, says the benefit of speed dating is that it is casual and people have low expectations, so it is more likely they will be pleasantly surprised if they meet someone interesting.

"I've hosted hundreds of singles events over the years. When I'd put on dances, people would get all dressed up and have high expectations they are going to meet someone," she said. "But people come into the [speed-dating] events not really expecting to find someone."

Beyond the lowered expectations speed dating offers, it also fits in well with the fast-paced lifestyle many singles lead. For people who face a serious time crunch but still want to meet and interact with as many potential dates as possible, speed dating is the drive- through of romance.

Get in, get out. If it works out great, if not, you've lost nothing.

Lori, 32, who attended a recent speed-dating session at Borders Books in Winter Park was not too concerned that she was going to find Mr. Right in the bookstore that evening.

"The best-case scenario is I meet someone and we go out for a drink together," she said. "Worst-case scenario, I give up a night in front of the TV."


 

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