Miranda Hobbs of HBO's Sex and the City did it. Accountants are doing it. Lawyers are doing it. Young professionals are doing it. Real estate agents are doing it. IT is organized dating.


Recently, more young professionals have begun to seek the assistance of others to help the meet friends, partners and companions. Services that provide these opportunities are a hit in Orlando and the surrounding areas. Organized dating services and d singles' events are a popular alternative to meeting people in bars and other common places. The services include speed dating, planned dinners, and singles' mixers to help build confidence and esteem. These singles' events take place every month  in many cities are so popular they fill up at a record pace.

Speed Dating

Faster. Faster. Faster. That is what we all crave i our busy lives. We have e-mail to send message faster. We have Nextel "direct connect" to talk to people more quickly . We have microwave dinners to get food on the the table faster. Why not meet men faster? That is the goal of speed dating, or more specifically, 3-minute dating (matchmaking). These services fulfill a need for busy people to meet other busy people in as little time as possible with minimum time wasted on people you are uninterested in pursuing further.

An international Jewish educational network initiated speed dating. It was based upon the Jewish tradition of chaperoned gatherings of young Jewish singles to meet other Jewish singles, with an emphasis on religion and commonalities.

Recently, speed dating has flourished amongst all singles, with an emphasis on professionalism rather than religious beliefs. Abbreviated dates are unique because they are thought of as mini-date and in the assigned time frame people gauge whether or not they have chemistry and if they' re interested in getting to know a person in a more private situation. Speed dating offers an alternative way for singles to meet each other outside of bars, blind dates and work.

Basically, the way speed dating services work is that for a minimum amount of money you get the opportunity to talk to men. To guarantee a spot at one of these events you must pre-register (they fill up fast) for an event in your age group and area. When you arrive at the event, you are handed a nametag and a scorecard. You are then assigned table at which you will meet different men.

You speak with each match for the assigned amount of time and change tables when a bell rings to mark the end of the "date." when time is up, you rotate to the next "date." Between rotations, you "scores" your date by checking ye s or no on your score sheet. On the score sheet, there are three categories for love, friendship or business. There must be a perfect match for contact information to be exchanged (i.e. business with business). It is suggested that if you are unsure of which box to check, you should check all three to leave your options open. If both parties check yes, then each receives the name, e-mail address and/or phone number of the other party. From there the motivation and initiative to call is up to you (or your "date).

In addition to the assigned "dates," there is usually an intermission where everyone can mingle. During the event, no contact information is exchanged (no business cards or toehr physical materials). Around 90 percent of the "daters" find someone at the event they would like to meet again, either as a friend, or as a potential interest in pursuing further.

Michelle Valentine, Inc. offers a speed dating process for busy people, 3 Minute Matchmaking. Valentine feels "this amount of time is sufficient to recognized a connection with another person."

She encourages participants to not be shy about asking direct questions, including personal questions such as relationship goals, family goals and life desires. Valentine also says this process is great for both shy individuals and outgoing personalities.

During the 3 Minute Matchmaking process, although you have little time to ask in-depth question, participants are encouraged  to look beyond physical attributes and to not use cookie-cutter questions for every date. They are encouraged to use their intuition to choose the topic of conversations. Some common questions include:

Where are you from?
Where did you grow up?
Where do you live?
What kind of work do you do?
Where did you attend college?
What hobbies do you enjoy?
What is your routine on weekends?
Do you have any pets?
Do you have any children?
Why did you decide to try speed dating?

In addition to 3 Minute Matchmaking, Michelle Valentine, Inc. offers alternative to the fast pace of quick introductions. Dine With Michelle Valentine is an evening dinner, which costs approximately ($39) and includes appetizers, entrees, non-alcoholic beverages, desserts and the opportunity to meet upscale, professionals in a more intimate setting.

As each course changes, so do matches and every one get the opportunity to speak at length with the others. This is a slower paced version of 3 Minute Matchmaking and offers a more intimate scenario for people to mingle and get to know one another. Many people think speed dating does not allow enough time to get past the name, job and age questions, whereas the dining experience allows more in-depth conversation (thirty minutes allotted for each course).

During arranged dates, participants are asked to be respectful and follow certain guidelines to protect themselves. Participants should not give out any contact information, including telephone number or last name. Finally, participants should not ask sexually explicit questions, nor should share unsolicited conversation topics with others.

"More young professionals have begun to seek the assistance of others to help them meet friends, partner and companions. Services that provides these opportunities are a hit."

You're Not Alone

The more successful a woman is in her professional life, the more unbalanced she may be in her personal life. Valentine said many people "forget about themselves" and their respective hobbies and interest outside of work. Valentine emphasized singles looking for love or friendship need to be an interesting person, and to do that, she offers some advice:

Start doing activities you loved in the past but have neglected because of other commitments or time constraints. Examples include taking cooking classes, scuba trips or jogging on a regular basis. Become a volunteer for a charity, this allows you to not only feel better about yourself, but also allows you the opportunity to meet other people participating in something they are passionate about.

First Impressions

Dating can be difficult, especially in a forced or contrived environment. Making a good impression is the basis on which we are judged to determine whether or not someone feels chemistry. Often, how we feel about ourselves is reflected in our body language and the impressions we make on others. With arranged dating services, activities or even in a work environment, it is important to make a great first impression. Posture, eye contact, gestures and vocal tone all convey a distinct message to your date. Looking your best and feeling confident will assist in making a good impression. Often, how you treat yourself is the impression someone might have of how you might potentially treat them. Remember to smile, have fun and be open-minded!

3-Minute Matchmaking
Dine With Micelle Valentine
Michelle Valentine,
Speaker and Author
3001 Aloma Avenue, Suite 210
Winter Park, Florida 32792
(407) 657-6655
www.michellevaleitne.com
comments@michellevalentine.com